alf of 2020 has gone by and it has been a challenging 6 months, to say the least. At the start of the year, after finishing a major project, I started thinking about the next steps in my career. I had in mind to speak to my boss about exploring other roles within the organisation, so that I could pursue new learning and development opportunities.
However, before I could broach the topic with my boss, the whole team began a work-from-home arrangement due to COVID-19 and shortly after, Singapore went into a two-month-long Circuit Breaker.
Having to stay home all the time was extremely difficult for me, as I draw a lot of energy from my external environment. The lack of physical interaction with people and engagement in my usual outdoor activities left me feeling tired and lethargic. Most days, I was unmotivated and uninspired. Inevitably, while grappling with this “new normal”, I shelved my intentions to speak to my boss.
As we slowly exited from the Circuit Breaker, my thoughts about moving to a new role resurfaced. While I pondered over my next steps, I became increasingly frustrated with myself over a lack of direction. People often asked me the age-old question, “So what are you interested in doing?”, but I had no clear answer.
How could I possibly have spent the last 6 years investing all my time and effort into my work, and still not know my own career objectives or aspirations? Was this the beginning of a never-ending search for answers I would never find in my lifetime?
My heart was heavily burdened by the uncertainty. It felt like I was going in circles in my head and not making any progress. I asked myself, “Why do I feel so dissatisfied and unfulfilled?” One weekend, after having dinner with my boyfriend, we were walking to the taxi stand when my mind wandered to these unanswered questions in that quiet moment.
When we reached the taxi stand, I pulled out my phone and launched the Grab app to book a ride home. There was surge pricing (it was close to midnight), so I tried Gojek instead. This was slightly cheaper, but still expensive. “Ok fine, I’ll try Comfort app for once,” I decided. Since it offered the cheapest ride, I went ahead to book a cab.
While waiting for the taxi, I grew visibly troubled and did not want to engage in any conversation. While my boyfriend knew of my work situation, he did not know exactly what was on my mind. Since the taxi was arriving soon, all he could do at that point was to say a quick word of prayer for me as the Spirit led him.
The taxi arrived and I got in. During the 10-minute ride home from Katong Shopping Centre to Sophia Road, the driver tried to engage me in small talk, asking me which GRC I was in (the elections were coming then) and sharing his thoughts on Singapore politics.
At the end of the trip, I pulled out my wallet to pay him in cash. It was my first time using the Comfort app, so I did not have my credit card registered in the app wallet. The ride cost $13.80, so I paid him $14.
“Uncle, keep the change,” I said.
“Thanks, here is your receipt,” he replied. “And, oh, by the way, take this . . . it will help you find your dream job.”
As he said this, he handed me the receipt and a tract by Our Daily Bread Ministries, titled Where’s My Dream Job?.
I could not believe what I was hearing and seeing. In a state of shock and complete awe at what had just happened, I thanked him and stumbled out of the vehicle. Tears were streaming down my face as I walked back to my house and straight into my room.
How could this taxi driver, of all people, possibly have known of my situation and what was weighing so heavily on me? And of all days, when I chose to take Comfort over Grab and Gojek. This was truly God’s hand at work. He comforts those in need, in all our troubles and afflictions.
Through this tract, God reminded me of a simple yet important truth: that our careers cannot provide all the satisfaction that we seek in our lives. He also reassured me that only He, who is all-knowing, all-loving, and eternal, can meet my needs perfectly. All I need to do is to turn to Him, wait upon Him, and trust in Him.
I still don’t have a clear answer to the question, “So what’s next?” And I may never get one. But what I do know for certain is that only in God can we find a true sense of purpose in life. Only in Him can we begin to find satisfaction, significance, and security.